I was bumping into a group of girls at a club and we were soon sipping champagne. One of them puts her arm around me shoulder and looks into my eyes. She says,
"You are gay, right?"
As I have said so many times, this translates to something like, "OMG!!1! I, like, think you are, like, so totally hot."
Thus I put my hand on her firm ass and teasingly say with a sleazy smile that I wasn't quite sure about my sexual orientation, to be honest. (No, I am not gay.)
She then waves her friend over and says, "This is my girlfriend!"
Then she makes out with her while still having her arm around me. It was certainly an arousing sight, and after it was over, she turned to me again and said with a horny smile, "We've just done what you'd like to do with me. Am I right?"
Unfortunately, I have recently occupied myself a bit too much with mathematics and logic because, when I'm not Sleazy Rockstar, I'm actually a fucking nerd. Thus, my preference for precise use of language made me say:
"You don't know what I want. Instead, you made an assumption."
Now she stood there, looking completely baffled. Apparently she was thinking. After five seconds or so, she said,
"No, I meant that you wanted to kiss me."
"I got that, but there is no way for you to know what I want. You can only assume something."
This was too much for her. She still stood there, trying to figure out what I had said. Again, she was completely without any motion or emotion. Since she wasn't quite able to process it, she walked off with a rather blank stare on her face.
Probably something like this was going on then:
(Picture from Pastor.us) |
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