Gawker and WSJ on Pickup

One of my readers (thanks, E.!) sent me a link to an article on Gawker with the title How to Talk to Real Live Women. It was easily the most amusing piece on pickup I've read in a while, but check it out yourself:

And she kind of looks at you for a long moment with a quizzical look on her face like she really seriously doesn't know what you're talking about, and kind of smiles politely and says "Okay," and starts to turn back to her other conversation again. And you're like "HI, I'M NICK" (yelling).

Yes, this article is a parody, but if you've spent some time on typical Internet forums on seduction, you'll probably admit that it is eerily close to some of the accounts you can read on there.

On an even more absurd side note, Gawker links to a recent article on Wall Street Journal, On a Wingman and a Prayer: Singles Bow to Cupids-for-Hire, that made me check the date twice. I just found it hard to believe it wasn't published on the first of April:

Paired with a confident wingwoman, her customers "can see prospective partners right away, and know right then and there if there is chemistry." Ms. Baxter, whose fees start at $130, insists that clients who go out with a pro have better odds of success than those who troll with an untrained male buddy. Often, the friend "says stupid stuff, like 'my friend thinks you're hot,'" she says.

Please note that "Ms Baxter" is 32, and not selling her body but wants to get paid for hanging out in a bar. For $130, though, her services better include anal in the bathroom, otherwise, this sum is completely ridiculous. Yet, the absurdities don't end:

Josh Mitchell, 27, started his Indianapolis wingwoman service, "Miss Pivot," last year after attending an event for young entrepreneurs. Romance aside, there was something else that convinced him he had a winning concept. No one, he says, seems to know how to have a face-to-face conversation anymore. "A lot of social skills you used to pick up watching your parents, but now everyone is busy watching stuff online or playing videogames online," he says.

Mr. Mitchell now runs Miss Pivot with a team of five friends, including a "head coach," plus eight freelance "pivots" for hire at $45 to $65 an hour.

Honestly, if you pay a random woman that amount of money to "hang out", then get your head checked. What I find really odd is that even though the typical guy seems to want to get laid, they are unable to put two and two together, and just hire a call girl. I thought that most people prefer the path of least resistance! Not that I want to promote whoring, but if somebody told me that he paid a woman $65 to go to a bar with him, in the vain hope to pick up other girls, I'd question his sanity.

What did Einstein again say about the universe and human stupidity?