Single Guys, your Life is NOT at Risk

Seriously, I have yet to come across anyone who makes more bizarre claims than Vin DiCarlo. Of course, an absolute classic is his "Why Working Out is Killing Your Chances with Women." However, he hasn't been lazy. Some time ago, he claimed that your life is at risk if you are a single guy. So, let's have a look at that marketing email:

WARNING: If you're a single male in an
English-speaking country, you're life
is at risk...

Recent studies on single men show a
higher than normal occurrence of cancer,
depression, heart attacks and other
diseases than at ANY OTHER TIME
in the world's history.

Apart from the creative spelling of "you're life", the lack of sources is obvious. Also, the obvious connection, if this were all true, is to ask why single men nowadays get more depressed than single men in earlier times. Couldn't it just be that people in general get more depressed because of increased stress at work and the recent tendency to not only work overtime but to have no real weekend anymore in some professions thanks to the pervasive use of Blackberries?

Why's this? Well, the scientific results
cite different things: From the things
you eat to your lifestyle choices -
like smoking.

However, I have a completely different
explanation, entirely...

This is hilarious, because it shows how those bullshit artists think: "Geez, here is science or maybe just common sense, but instead I'll just make up some shit!"

I THINK BEING SINGLE IS
KILLING YOU BECAUSE
BEING SINGLE SUCKS...

A critical mind can readily establish that not being single is killing you but your lifestyle choices, so this is completely ridiculous. But let's just have a look why being single sucks:

You wake up every morning, pent up
with sexual energy, because you don't
have a woman around to give you a
good release...

So that's all women in Vin DiCarlo's world are good for? Frankly, if you just want sexual release, then masturbation and/or seeing a hooker will do the trick as well.

Your stress builds up and builds up,
because you have no one to vent to,
and no one to share your life with...

...and single guys all over the world sit in their empty rooms, and cry because no one has ever loved them, nor will there ever be someone who loves them. Give me a break!

Being single in Vin DiCarlo's world apparently meansm "being single, having absolutely zero friends, and being too afraid to whack off". Awesome.

You look at women walking by you
every single day on the street, and
you wonder who they're with...

What?

… and then...

… You tell yourself they'd never be
interested in you. You pile stress on
top of stress on top of misery and
sadness.

And ultimately – you end up with
what I call a "Pain Cocktail" that
fucks up your life and makes it
easier for you to catch diseases.

(Studies show depression practically
kills your immune system off, and makes
it easy to catch diseases from damn
near anyone...)

Wow, what a simple world we all live in! I tell you what, Vin DiCarlo, you are at a much higher risk catching diseases if you fuck around like crazy, so a single guy should be much healthier.

THE GOOD NEWS IS:

It doesn't have to be this way!

Because you can have a wife,
a girlfriend or even a one-night
stand... even if... talking to women
PETRIFIES you, right now.

All it requires is sending Vin DiCarlo some grand and he'll take care of all your problems, especially if one of it is not knowing what to do with all your money.

What follows in his marketing email is just a sales pitch for some inane product. But let's continue a more serious discussion: Vin DiCarlo makes some bold assumption about the misery of single guys, but while there are plenty of single guys (with our without women) who are perfectly happy, so are there many guys in relationships who are -- surprise! -- either happy or unhappy. In fact, I have strong reason to believe that the level of unhappiness that comes from a dysfunctional relationship is far worse than a single guy's "misery".

Of course, I don't deny that you can be happy in a relationship. However, the question of happiness is much more related to how much you like yourself. Anything external, be it the latest smartphone (because an expensive ad campaign tells you that you've got to have one) or a girlfriend (because TV shows etc. tell you that it's not normal to have none). Yet, being single, especially when you are a young guy, is fully accepted in all but the most conservative circles.

Are you as lonely as Vin DiCarlo?

I promised to dissect a few of Vin DiCarlo's email newsletters, but unfortunately I barely made it past the title of his latest one, which was called:

"The Loneliest Day Of My Life.."

First, I remembered this:



After a laugh I kept on reading, despite the lousy intro:

Welcome Back To The Sucess With Women Newsletter

In this issue, I give you the secret to having tons of friends... an active social life... great business connections... a powerful social network... and women who walk up to you and introduce themselves, without you saying a word.

Enjoy :-)

- Vin

...I knew there was no way I'm going to make it through that drivel. I did try, though, but I quickly realized that it was just one very simple idea drawn out to utterly bizarre length, and the idea was:

This Secret Is The Difference Between Being Single & Alone, And Having Tons Of Hot Girlfriends, Loyal Friends And An Active Social Life...

(...)

The secret is this:

Getting over your fear of starting a conversation and talking to people is the secret to having an active social life, tons of friends, sex whenever you want it and the hottest girlfriend you can possibly imagine.

No shit, Sherlock! Of course, with the exception of non-verbal pickups, you have to start a conversation or at least be able to sustain one if you want to get anywhere. However it is far from being the "secret" that gets you laid. What's next, telling guys that they have to tie their shoes if they want to get their dick wet? If I wanted to be a smart-ass I would now waffle on about the difference between a necessary and a sufficient condition, but it's easy enough to see what the problem is --- except if you are Vin DiCarlo's Internet lackey who has to come up with those nonsensical newsletters.

However, let's talk about a more serious issue here: loneliness. Yeah, I know, we are all afraid of dying alone and being found half-rotten six weeks later because the neighbors start to wonder about the nasty smell coming from our apartment --- and then the whole world will know how despicable we were, and how pathetic.

But let's be real here: loneliness is a feeling and has nothing to do whether you actually are alone or not. You may even have heard of expression such as "the lonely crowd", and while you may not have been familiar with the landmark sociological study I just linked to, you surely know the feeling of sitting with a group of friends or acquaintances and being emotionally distant --- because something else concerns you, and you know you can't share it with the people around you because they won't understand. (Maybe it's as simple as wanting to talk about "common sense" when in a group of PUAs. It just won't work.)

It is obvious that the seduction industry targets the fears of men who feel socially rejected or otherwise unworthy because they lack a woman in their life. But, frankly, had they been with a lot of women, they would know that this will not necessarily change their state of mind. In fact, some of your loneliest moments can be when you are waking up next to a woman you have no desire for anymore. This is a not so uncommon occurrence if you are going through a string of one-night stands and operate solely based on your horniness. Once you've gotten your rocks off, your motivation of having that woman around will drop to zero. For obvious reasons, no "PUA" will ever tell you this because they either barely get laid and thus don't know about this, or because they are afraid that sharing this bit of information would repel potential customers as it destroys the illusion they have created.

If you think my last paragraph was overly misogynistic, then please consider how you use porn. Of course, an argument can be made that directors like Jules Jordan have added an hitherto unknown esthetical component to the genre, and there is much to be said if favour of that position. But, frankly, there is usually a reason why you watch a porn clip instead of some art house film. And how do you do it? Well, you may even have some favourite stars, so you check out random websites and think, "Mmm, Blown By Sativa Rose & Lela Star surely sounds tempting." Thus, you play the video, do your thing, and once you've blown your load --- you are probably not going to finish watching the scene, or are you? Instead, you are much more likely to smile and think, "Now there is no need for that anymore." And as shocking as it may sound, the very same can happen if you go through a lot of women and mainly use them for sexual gratification. Also, if there are any femi-nazis reading this: sexually active women are no different from men in this regard, so keep your misandrist whining to yourself, bitches!

Of course, not everyone wants to bang a lot of girls (because they are brainwashed with pc-nonsense) and want to settle down with "that particular girl", no matter what she looks like, instead. But what do you think how this will be? Yes, you will be less "alone", but this doesn't mean you won't feel lonely anymore. If loneliness was an issue for you before you've entered the relationship, it may very well remain an issue in the relationship. Or do you honestly believe that just one woman on this planet will be able to relate to anything you say? Of course, there will be many areas where she would have absolutely nothing to contribute because it is outside the scope of her interests.

Lastly, as an excurse, I'd like to add that the fact that you will be less alone in a relationship can have grave consequences, too, because if you are a man with serious interests, whatever they may be, you may soon find that suddenly things aren't going so well anymore. Heck, you may even wonder what happened to all your spare time. Maybe you'll even start think that you are not as sharp anymore. But why, oh why, could this be the case?

Of course, if you've got no ambition and no interests whatsoever, then you may as well just marry some random chick (and get taken to the cleaners in your divorce five years later), but if this is not the case, which I assume simply because I attract a smart readership judging from the emails I get, then please read an important study by Satoshi Kanazawa, who is now teaching at the London School of Economics. It is called "Why productivity fades with age: The crime–genius connection" But guess what the main issue of fading productivity in marriage is:

Crime and genius share something else in common: Marriage depresses both. (...) [E]xpressions of genius among scientists who never married do not decline sharply. Half as many (50.0%) unmarried scientists make their greatest contributions in their late 50s as they do in their late 20s. The corresponding percentage among the married scientists is 4.2%.

It makes you think, doesn't it?

So, the next time you feel lonely, just devote yourself to your interests, and you'll notice that those feelings will quickly dissipate.

Quick Update: Upcoming Books, Posts, and a Seminar, too!

I have been incredibly busy with my life in recent months, and I'm spending most of the summer travelling. However, I will update the blog a bit more regularly in the future.

My email inbox is overflowing; and I think I'll do some more "community bashing". However, even though some of my critics love to accuse me for "being negative", a more than just cursory glance at those posts should make it obvious that there is plenty of "value" in those contributions.


Recently, some readers have pointed me towards some of Vin DiCarlo's spam emails. I got hold of a few of them and think they are even more ridiculous than his legendary "Working Out is killing your Chances with Women". I will deconstruct a couple of Vin's emails and point out the many misconceptions and highly questionable psychological tricks he tries to pull off to make you feel bad about yourself - and hand him your money. There will be plenty to learn from my analysis.

Also, I have been working on finalizing the German translation of Sleazy Stories, which is turning out very well. As soon as this book is out, I will devote all my energies on my next project, which is currently about 90% done; it's an instruction manual on the "real" fundamentals of game. Look forward to the announcement.

Furthermore, I will give one seminar in England in late August. It will be my only seminar in 2011, and it will be a joint-seminar with one of the most interesting characters from the old mASF forum. The announcement will be sent out to my mailing list first, and be posted on this blog afterwards. Expect the announcement early next week.

Lastly, I have decided to post some of my "in-field" observations. I have grown a bit tired of writing "field reports", but there are nonetheless interesting tidbits I don't mind sharing. Those posts will appear infrequently, so please don't expect detailed descriptions of my nights out.

Badboy likes Escorts?

There are some funny stories being spread around about Badboy. For instance, as I have heard from people who have attended a PUA summit in Prague, he was spotted around the red-light district, and when questioned, he “confessed” that his new game consisted of trying to fuck prostitutes for free. This does stretch my imagination somewhat, and probably yours, too. Anyway, I’m just reporting.

But one of the cool things of being known for calling the bluff on the community is that people send me stuff I never would have discovered myself, such as Badboy’s recent newsletter, which does not only use the complete lyrics of two songs without permission or copyright notice (someone tell Eminem’s lawyers that his “Shake That” is being duplicated in there), but some really hilarious stuff too.

Here is how Badboy’s newsletter starts:

And this is how it ends:

Have a good look at the previous image, and now compare it to this one:

Incidentally, Badboy's image it is the same as the one BodyMiracle uses. Now you might wonder what kind of company this is --- it is an escort agency for porn stars! This may now make some people wonder what Badboy does with the money he makes from his bootcamps. Oh, wait, I bet he'll tell those escorts to come to his hotel and then he might try to "game" them into fucking them for free...

Also, think about what else you could get for the amount of cash you’d have to plunk down for "pickup training". On BodyMiracle, most of the escorts go for $800/30min or $1600/1h. So for the same amount of money a “bootcamp” would cost you, you could bang three award winning pornstars, and maybe you’d even get a package deal. Just think of it, if you are so inclined, you could either spend 30 minutes with an award winning porn star(let), or, and maybe for some people this is the better deal, you pay roughly the same amount to talk to Vin DiCarlo on the phone for 90 minutes.

It's your choice.

According to Vin DiCarlo, working out is killing your Chances with Women

I was just browsing PUAHate.com after a long absence and found that hilarity these days comes in boat loads. There were not one but two threads mocking fun at Vin DiCarlo's latest newsletter.

In case you don't know Vin, he used to post on mASF as "Woodhaven" and was provided one of the most extreme cases of over-analysis I have ever seen. "Ever" in this context means: in all my life, no matter the subject. A prime example is his "escalation ladder", which is supposed to teach you how to escalate to sex and includes eye openers such as "pinching her cheek". I don't want to know how many Asperger patients run around and try to replicate Vin DiCarlo's procedure on unsuspecting women.

Anyway, not only has Vin strange ideas on how you are supposed to "escalate", he is also concerned about your overall well-being, which is why in his latest newsletter, he recommends you to not work out in order to increase your chances to getting laid. This may sound like nonsense, and that's because it really is. Let's quote the first part of it (emphasis not in the original):

The more time you spend in the gym,
the less time you're likely to spend with
a beautiful woman...

Seems wrong. Seems like guys with
big muscles, pumping iron get laid all
the time...

Seems like you see them out in bars
and clubs with women hanging all over
them...

But the truth is: Some of the men with
the most in-shape bodies you've ever
seen are TERRIBLE with women.

I've got a friend named Tyler.

First of all, the "I've got a friend X" technique is just one of the shady methods of copywriters and Internet marketers use in the hope of sounding more believable to their hopefully gullible audience. Whenever you read such a sentence, you can substitute it with "I have no idea what the f*ck I've just pulled out of my a**, but I'll just dream up a story to justify it".

This imaginary Tyler apparently got laid in high school, but once he picked up bodybuilding in college --- Ta Daa! --- he just can't get laid anymore, despite looking like a stud, because even though he was already "big"...

He wanted the "perfect shape."

The shape Men's Health and other
magazines say is attractive to women.

And the more he worked on himself,
the more he worried that he wasn't
perfect.

Because even if you thought Tyler
looked great... He knew he could gain
another inch on his biceps.

He thought women noticed his shoudlers
were uneven.

He thought women knew he wasn't as
"big" as he could be.

By the way, Vin, nice typo! Apart from that, if you dare to go to a club or leave the house --- you will get a ton of attention if you are in shape and wear clothes that accentuate your body. Being overweight is a deal breaker par excellence and if you are obese, then it doesn't matter how confident you are. Such honesty probably wouldn't sell stuff like Vin's ebook "The Attraction Code".

Indeed, one of the absurd conclusions people reading Vin DiCarlo's newsletter are supposed to make is that "inner game" trumps everything else, including a great body, and working on a great body will only make you insecure. His imaginary friend Tyler only would have to go somewhere, and he will get attention from women. Some will even throw themselves at him. Certainly more than a guy wearing plateau shoes who is desperately trying to hide his 20 kilos of excess baggage under his shirt.

Having a great body of course doesn't mean that you have to look like Arnold in his prime. In terms of muscles "more" is not necessarily better, but in terms of body fat, "more" is always worse. The only exception I can think off is if you are anorectic, which you probably aren't. So got out and hit the gym, but at the very least lose some weight. If you like going to the gym --- which I don't do either --- then have a look at Scooby's Home Body Building Workouts, a great free resource, which I have already recommended some weeks ago.

Bad Bootcamp led to Physical Attack by Instructor

One of my online acquaintances (he goes by the name of ForeverDrake) asked me to post the following on my blog.

This story involves people from Vin DiCarlo's company and some other small time players such as "Psych" from PUA Training and a promoter from NYC who is called "Nathan PUA" (who is behind Pickup Artist Events and I've had a questionable encounter with him as well some months ago). Apparently, the "instructors" just go out to get wasted and let some "students" tag along. It sounds like a pretty horrible experience all along, but it gets even better in the end...

=========================

This is going to be divided into two parts.
Part 1 will be the bootcamp and the discussion that sparked this unjustifiable incident.
Part 2 will be the neck grabbing incident, feel free to skip to this part if you wish.





Part 1. The incident that began last year.

This started about a year ago, I bought 2 nights of bootcamp for a discounted price of $200 (so that would basically be $100 a night), I talked to the other 2 students that night, they paid the exact same price as me. We headed out to a bar to do some game, work on some sticking points, it was a fun night out in general. My instructors were Heartwork and Psych, it was not an official bootcamp but an under the tables bootcamp.

This was initially Heartwork’s bootcamp, however, after wards when I confronted him last week he said it was Psych’s bootcamp, which I clearly remember it not being, I will get into more detail on this in part 2. Heartwork also promised to help me sort through my goals and help me set them up, this would take roughly 20 minutes and we had never got to. Also I did watch him do this for another of his students do this that night.

Psych was cool to me and helped me out. I have vague memories of him drinking that night but he said he wasn’t and never has on a bootcamp before, so I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt, I have not heard him lie to me before as far as I can remember. Heartwork however, I cannot say the same for. Heartwork too, however from my recollection of the experience he was pretty drunk and several other people commented the same thing on this.

I did end up losing Heartwork throughout the night, and at certain points in the night I had actually lost both instructors, that’s pretty hard for a 3 student to 2 instructors ratio. Both of the other 2 students on the bootcamp pulled early in the night. I had saved Heartwork’s number on my phone and called him and texted him a few times in the night to find him, he didn’t pick up my phone calls, that is understandable, it is a pretty loud club. He did however, text me back and ask “Whos this?”

I figure when you are about to take a student to game you that you would at least save their number. Or at least NOT drink on a bootcamp, especially if you’re an instructor who is not even the legal drinking age of 21. Heartwork says he was not drunk but had just one or two beers, I remember it being more but hey, I lost him a good amount of the night so it’s not like I can count every drink he had.

It was then that Heartwork promised me a bunch of material that he was going to send me for free, PLUS the 2 nights of the bootcamp. I was super happy that night and I hugged him, it was a cool experience in my eyes, it was also my first bootcamp so I decided to simply disregard the negative parts of the bootcamp.

After the whole bootcamp I e-mailed and texted Heartwork a few times, he did after all promise me a bunch of free products, I did not want to pester him so I did not do it too much, however, a majority of my e-mails and texts were ignored or simply avoided with a short “I’m busy” or something then followed by usually something such as, “I’m going to send you the products soon.” Which he didn’t, I ended up having to send him about 20 more e-mails before he ever sent me the products. I had to pester him and bother him before he sent me the products.

So about a week ago, I confronted him about the less than satisfactory services provided. I asked for a refund for the night that I did not go out. Heartwork gave me a weird response that I do not remember, he was surprised, then he said it was mainly Psych’s bootcamp, and that he was helping out on it, I remember it being his bootcamp and Psych helping out but whatever. We spoke briefly.

He also mentioned the other 2 students being the reason why I lost him throughout the night, that’s weird... To have 2 instructors and 3 students, and somehow lose 1 for a good amount of the night, wouldn’t you say that is strange? He then mentions to me that the price of the bootcamp was way too cheap and other instructors were mad at him and he got in trouble for it. Strange.

Then he says the other 2 students paid the full price of the bootcamp, which was thousands of dollars. I immediately caught on to this and parroted his statement back as a question, “They paid thousands of dollars for the bootcamp?” He then immediately changed his story, “Well... no... they paid about.... Um.... $700.” This is almost 3 times the actual amount each of them paid. I asked him “Each of them paid $700 or they both collectively paid $700?” He says something I don’t remember and then changes the subject.

Then I went to find Psych who I found immediately. I filled him in on the situation. He was really confused as he and I both remembered it was not his bootcamp but whatever, he goes back to talk to Heartwork, I am not here during this. After some time he comes back to talk to me, we have a brief discussion, then we head back to where Heartwork is. Now this new “Nathan Pua” guy is sitting here. He’s a bald guy, overweight to a somewhat noticeable degree, and wears some stylish glasses, a business suit.

This Nathan guy runs Psych’s business and I believe he is a junior instructor for Psych, although I could be wrong about this. I hadn’t really talked to this guy yet but he gave me a weird vibe. A good amount of the people at the convention said the same, and a few of them don’t like him and think he’s creepy. Whatever, not my job to judge.

While talking to me he paced his words strangely in an NLP kind of way, clearly trying to manipulate me, when I explain what he is saying and the incident that ensues, you will realize I was right. I sit there and he asks me to explain the situation so I do. Then he says that I’m not entitled to a refund at all, that’s fair. He offers me a $100 discount on a bootcamp that’s coming up, which was I believe $695? Now it would be $595. I don’t want anymore training if the quality of that night was any sort of barometer of how they run bootcamps now, and it is. Later on I find out the price of the bootcamp goes down to $395.

This “Nathan Pua” guy attempts to get me to buy the bootcamp even further, “Well this bootcamp could really take your game to the next level” he says. I refuse. He says “So your game is at the level you want it to be?” Etc. he continues this for a while, I get very annoyed. I tell him to leave. He looks clearly irritated when I say this. He obliges though and leaves, now it is me, Heartwork, and Psych. We talk briefly. It basically ends with them literally refusing me any compensation.

Later on I talk to one of my friends (Let’s call him Brendan) and who I found out put down a down payment for the bootcamp with Psych and Nathan. He is questioning whether he should take it as he has a family vacation coming up. I told him about my truthful experiences with the bootcamp and this whole incident. He decides not to take the bootcamp.

The next day or two Brendan and he says that they have been trying to get him to take the bootcamp since and they keep pressuring him, that sucks. I tell him to stick to whatever decision he feels is right. He says that he mentions his family vacation to them and that they don’t care at all. He’s apparently made up his mind about not taking the bootcamp.





Part 2. The neck grabbing and threatening to sue.

We were all attending a convention. Later on, during the last speech of the convention I look to my right, my buddy Brendan walks through the room with “Nathan Pua.” So, clearly something has happened, neither of them look happy. Brendan sits down near me but doesn’t make eye contact or talk with me, that’s strange.

I’m kind of waiting for the speeches to end because I am hosting my friends from DC who I promised to drive to the airport immediately after this last speech, it was a pretty cool weekend, I met a lot of cool people. I thoroughly enjoyed it, until this incident.

There is still a speech going on in front of me so I pay attention and watch the speech. Randomly out of nowhere I feel a hand literally GRAB my neck forcefully while I’m watching the speech, now mind you that I am sitting down in a crowded room with a speech going on onstage, I hear a voice talking as well, I look to my left and I see “Nathan Pua” grabbing my neck and talking down on me. He says “Listen you little fucking shit, if you keep spreading your fucking slander I’m going to fucking sue you for thousands of dollars!”

I say “Get your fucking hands off me!” He just looks at me, keeps his grasp on my neck while pushing my head with force so make my head jolt slightly. Then he walks off. Okay, now I am furious. There are speeches going on onstage so I decide not to ruin the footage during this occurrence. The speeches end and the camera turns off. I walk straight up to this “Nathan Pua” guy.

I can’t believe this fucking ass hole just grabbed my neck. I just looked at him and started screaming and cussing, I was fucking furious, this happened today. I basically started cussing at him really loud and yelling at him. He just looked stunned and I could tell he was scared, he said "You have issues man..." I kept cussing. He said "You need help..." At this point some other guys who were my friends dragged me out of there.

A lot of people saw this so I'm sure a lot of people think I have anger issues now, which is not far from the truth actually...



But...

What the fuck man? Does this seriously fucking happen in the pick up community? I was a former student and he fucking grabs my neck in public? I'm fucking pissed off. I wish I could have taken a swing at this guy. What a fucking piece of shit.





Judge for yourself. I was warning this guy about something like this happening, and guess what? It did happen. I just can’t fucking believe somebody is willing to pressure a client to the point of fucking walking them to an ATM machine to pull money out for them at that very moment, sickening.

And if you want to get in touch with this neck grabbing Nathan guy, just google “Nathan Pua”, his facebook is the first one that pops up. He runs lair events in NYC from what I’ve heard.

He did threaten to sue me and I am honestly very afraid of this happening. But I don’t want this happening to anybody else so I’m going to take the risk. From what I’ve heard from friends in the NYC community, he uses these kinds of scare tactics often. Can you even be sued for writing a bad review that is 100% true?

I’m going to end this with, Heartwork and Psych were not affiliated with this neck grabbing incident at all. They were both not there when it occurred, and Nathan made his own judgments to grab my neck and pull this stunt off. I think Heartwork could be an alright coach if he were to be sober the entire night. And Psych is a pretty cool guy who has good intentions and is probably a good coach who made the mistake of simply affiliating with a guy like Nathan.

Ciao.