Monday, April 16, 2012

Why do You Want Pickup to be Difficult!?

One of the more ridiculous comments about my rather controversial article “Why Cold Approaching in Mostly Useless” was by Mark Manson (Entropy). Just have a look at this statement and be in awe of his bizarre logic:




What bugs me the most about this though is the mindset it implies. It implies a mindset of, "Hey, you should settle for the low-hanging fruit. Take what's given to you."  
The idea that you should wait around for a girl to make eye contact, or that you have to join classes or groups to make it easier for yourself -- it's saying that you should wait around for women who want you, instead of directly pursuing the women who you want. 
For me, I approach women I want to approach for no other reason than I want to approach them. It doesn't matter if it's in a yoga class, on the street, in a night club or at a friend's birthday party. It doesn't matter if she's been staring at me for five minutes or if she has no idea I exist. I don't care and I don't really think about it. I approach based on MY INTERESTS not based on HER INTERESTS.


Let's just go through the lame rhetorics quickly and point out that "low hanging fruit" in this context means a woman who is obviously interested in you, whom you can get much quicker, and, if you so desire, are more likely to be able to keep around due to shared interests. Suddenly, Mark Manson doesn't seem to have much of a point anymore.

Another trap is that you can force your interest upon the woman. If she doesn't want you, she doesn't want you. At best you are a pan-handler, at worst a slimy insurance broker who forces fraudulent financial products upon an unsuspecting client.

What I find particularly odd is that now all of a sudden it's bad to make life easy for yourself. It's not even the case that you "settle" for anything less. After all, you will end up with much better girls if you skip indiscriminate cold approaches. You’ll find that it is much easier to get along with women who share some of your interests, and you'll probably conclude that all the "advanced game techniques" our PUAs peddle amount to an enormous steamy pile of crap.

Furthermore, let’s not forget that women actively put themselves into places where they want to meet men. They doll themselves up for dancing classes, for instance. This is just the most innocent example. It’s no big revelation if I told you that there are plenty of women who move to bigger cities in the hope of finding a decent husband for themselves. Don’t laugh! This happens on all levels of society. Young women move to the capitals of their country, or even go abroad to New York or London, not just to see the world, but also get themselves some better options than their small home town would provide. For some, just getting citizenship of a more prosperous country is motivation enough.

A great case in point is Tiger Wood’s ex-wife, Elin Nordegren. She was a model with no education, but she actively put herself into a position where she could meet men of enormous socio-economic status (by being au pair to a wealthy and well-connected family), thus trying to cash in on her looks. (And this despite being part of the elites of Swedish society as the daughter of a minister.) Surely she thought she could do better than getting, say, an accountant with a fat wallet in Stockholm.

Among au pairs, this seems to be a common motivation. Just think of the deal they get: they get to live with a wealthy family in an attractive city, help with the household, and in exchange they get a bit of pocket money. From a purely economical standpoint, it’s a highly unattractive deal. But if you imagine that it could net you an investment banker or a golf player. It’s not so bad. And if in the worst case, they end up with a divorce worth more than $100 million.

To connect the lose ends, let me ask you whether you think a guy like Tiger Woods would bother to go out and "cold approach" random girls. Do you really think so? He's just making the best of the option he has, and the average guy can do the same. You will probably not score a girl of Nordegren's caliber, but there are plenty of attractive girls out there who are looking for a decent guy, and who don't want to be approached on the streets like cheap hookers.

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